One of the sad but inevitable side effects of the growth and entrenchment of the internet in our civilization has been the deteriorating health of print journalism. The easy availability and dissemination of information and opinion on the web has clearly invalidated the basic business model upon which the local daily newspaper depends. As a result, many papers across the country have ceased to exist, and those that remain resemble fish stranded by low tide, futilely flopping and flailing as they strive to survive in this hostile environment.
Which brings us to the largest and oldest local newspaper here in the greater Toledo area, The Blade. This paper’s floppings and flailings have assumed a familiar formula in recent years, which must be working for it, because they have stayed with the formula faithfully. It goes something like this: 1) Identify a populist cause that focuses on the misdeeds or failings of a single, identifiable person (preferably a white male) as an antagonist. 2) Relentlessly report and opine on the cause - not limiting coverage to the cause itself, and its merits (what fun is that?), but also on the reasons why the antagonist should be vilified and despised, in order to maximize the pitchfork-and-torch atmosphere surrounding the issue. 3) Keep hammering away at the issue, giving it the placement and column-inch priority of a 9/11-level story, and don't let up until the villain is vanquished and you've milked every newspaper sale possible out of the cause.
It’s been successful time and time again in this town, with such notable examples as Tom Noe, Robert Alexander and Tom Skeldon finding themselves with the red dot of the Blade’s laser gunsight dancing on their foreheads, awaiting the inevitable bullet.
The latest target, Lucas County Dog Warden Tom Skeldon, was a particularly apt example of the efficient use of this formula. An obvious cause was identified (the wanton overuse of euthanasia at the dog pound on surrendered and seized dogs, including puppies....OMG, PUPPIES!!) The series of headlines that followed brought to mind an image of an evil dog warden in a black cape, laughing maniacally as he tossed puppies (OMG, PUPPIES!!) into a wood chipper at the dog pound. They even went so far as to add reporting in the Daily Log of those dogs euthanized or adopted out by Mr. Skeldon’s dept., right there with the other crime reports.
This week Mr. Skeldon, seeing the obvious writing on the wall (or in this case, on the newspapers on the floor of the dog cages), announced his intention to retire at the end of the year. That he would show such blatant disregard for the marketing needs of One of America’s Great Newspapers by not playing this thing out to the end must have caused great consternation among the Blade’s higher-ups. Now they have to go back and consult, much sooner than they had hoped, the sacred Blade Hit List (rumored to be kept on scrolls in a germ-proof vault in Pittsburgh), to determine the paper’s next target.
Everyone in Toledo should be on the lookout for red laser-dots dancing on foreheads in the coming weeks.
How does the saying go? They came for the crooked Republican coin dealers, and I said nothing, because I am not a crooked Republican coin dealer. They came for the YMCA executives, and I said nothing, since I am not a YMCA executive. They came for the dog wardens, and I said nothing, since I am not a dog warden. Then they came for me....
Or something like that.
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